Prefer to listen?
Ok, we need to have this talk, it’s time.
You know you need to talk about your work, right?
You know it is part of running a business, do you?
But still, at least once per month I read about someone asking “how to show myself online without feeling cringe?”
Because whatever you do or say feels arrogant and you feel like standing on a table screaming “look at me, look at me”. Right?
I know this, because I felt that too (and still do sometimes, eheh).
But especially because I know how that feels, we need to talk today. And it’s going to be uncomfortable first, but it will get better, I promise.
First, the reframe
Please stay with me here because without this part, nothing else will make sense. First of all, the cringe doesn’t come from promoting yourself. It comes from promoting yourself for the wrong reason.
When the goal is to look impressive and better than anyone else, of course it feels gross. I mean, you need a serious dose of overconfidence to do that. But we’re introverts, and the majority of us don’t like to brag. But we do want people to understand what we do, and to trust us in order for them to work with us.
But here comes the first hard question of the day:
What if talking about your work wasn’t about you at all? What if it was all about the person on the other side, aka the one who right now is struggling with exactly the problem you solve?
The moment you understand (or remember) that your work helps someone, the cringe starts to disappear, because you’re not promoting yourself anymore, you’re just making sure the person who is actively looking for someone like you, can find you.
That’s it. That wasn’t so bad, right?
Now let’s go into practical.
Case studies aren’t bragging.
One of the most powerful things you can do to talk about your work, is to show what happens when someone works with you.
And no to inflated numbers or fake testimonials, please never EVER do that.
And if you don’t have numbers, just walk them through the process and the change that your client experienced. Whatever explains what you can do for them too. You just need to show what you and your client worked through together and how they ended up.
If I think about my reviews or case studies, I bet nobody will read that thinking “Wow she’s so annoying, look at those results”. Because when someone is considering working with you, they’re not thinking “look at those annoying good results!” They’re just thinking “Oh, this is what I need, I want that too.”
So, again, it’s not really about you, it’s about the solution they are looking for.
If this kind of reframe is useful to you, consider subscribing: I write and talk about marketing specifically for introverted founders, and this is exactly the kind of things I talk about. I’d love to stay in touch ♥︎
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Oh no, sales!
Writing about your work is one thing, but what about an actual sales conversation?
Look, I’ll be honest here: I’m not the best at cold selling. People think that marketing and sales are the same job, but it’s not.
I also paid A LOT of money in the past to get help on this because it’s hard when you are like me (and us, I guess). And the best lesson I learned is that my assumption on sales was entirely wrong.
I thought I had to be super confident, a little pushy or like those sales-gurus that take phone calls while doing something weird like bouncing a ball on the wall or sun bathing and sipping cocktails while closing 10k deals (Is this in you Instagram feed too or is mine bugged?)
But Susan Cain, in her book Quiet, talks about a record-breaking salesman (an introvert) whose entire strategy was basically the opposite of that. He didn’t pitch, he didn’t push, he just asked questions and… drumroll please… listened.
And this was my second lesson too, or more like a realization, because I connected the dots and realized why the best sales calls I had were the ones where the other person felt most heard. I was listening and they were feeling seen. I was understanding their problems and they were open to my solutions because they were matching.
Again, my best calls were about them, and never about me.
And in the past, I even questioned myself when I didn’t want to take on a job when I wasn’t entirely sure I could deliver, but in time I learned that integrity is like Karma and it pays back.
So you don’t have to fake anything, you don’t have to do anything flashy, you don’t need to convince anybody. You just need to listen to their problem and offer your solution, if you have one.
When you drop the nasty belief that you have to convince and start trying to simply understand, you’re playing a completely different game. Because people buy from the person who made them feel seen. And that? Well, introverts are pretty good at that!
Sales is 90% listening. The other 10% is just knowing what to do with what you heard.
And I know, some of you might be scared of talking about money too, but that’s another topic so if you want me to talk about this or something else, just write me.
3 practical tips to apply right away
Now that this reframe lives rent free in your brain, start writing about your work:
1 – write for one person, not an audience. Imagine the specific person you actually want to help. What are they worried about right now? Write to them. The more specific you are, the more it feels like a normal conversation.
2 – describe the transformation, not yourself. Instead of starting with you, start with the results they can reach with you. Because that’s what they are actually looking for. You’re just their tool to get there.
3 – share your mission, mindset and method, don’t just throw numbers. What makes you different? What gains can you give that your competition can’t? What things have you seen come up again and again with your clients? Show them how their life can change with you, and you only. This content will build trust because you’re not saying “I’m great”, you’re saying “This is my method, my style and I’ve already dealt with your problem”
Hope this helps, now go and enjoy your weekend.
Hugs,
Chiara
